Better Let Your Kid Drive, Ma'am

I find myself having less and less tolerance for idiot drivers as I age. People who talk on cell phones while driving are at the top of my list; it is against the law to drive while talking on a handheld phone in California. In my 'perfect' world, all drivers would be equipped with paintball guns. When a person witnesses someone do something illegal, stupid, or (more likely), both, it would be legal to pull out your paintball gun and blast the offending car with a purple splotch. Any car that was driving around with two or more splotches would automatically be pulled over by the police and issued a citation for being stupid. Five or more blotches earns the offending moron a Taser shot. Ten or more and you're imprisoned. Or forced to watch High School Musical 2 for a week. I'm sure by then the offender would be begging for another Taser zap.

I'm pulling around the parking lot at my kids' school yesterday, and I am nearly backed into by a woman yakking on her cell phone as she was pulling out of a handicapped parking stall. Her vehicle did not display the proper placard or license plate, so she was breaking two laws at once. She was oblivious until she heard my horn sound loudly at her. Another coat of paint on my car and she would have struck me. No wave, no shrug of the shoulders, no acknowledgement of almost plowing into me. She held her phone in place against her shoulder with her ear as she used both hands to turn her wheel quickly and pull forward, maintaining her conversation.

Almost hitting the car in front of her.

What made this whole scenario ironically funny was the bumper sticker affixed proudly to her vehicle touting the fact her child was a Special Student at a local school. Obviously the kid got the smarts from Dad.

Maybe the kid should be driving instead of Mom.

*Pow**Pow**Pow*....three splotches.

Where's my Taser?