The World According to Hoopy

Maybe technology is best left to the younger folks...

2011-05-03T22:10:00.000-07:00

I am amazed at the number of older folks who have embraced all the new-fangled technology that seems to pop up every day. My parents love Facebook, and have reconnected with many people from their past since joining the online community. I see many older folks using their smart phones and other gadgets when I am out and about, but sometimes I really wonder if they know what they are doing.

I went out today to grab some lunch while I was at work. I chose Togo's for a nice sandwich and soup. As I walked in, I noticed an older couple sitting at a table inside the shop, obviously struggling with their Iphone. The husband was trying to take a photo of his wife with the device, but he seemed to think he needed to hold the phone up as if he was using an old Instamatic camera, with the rear-facing camera lens up to his eye, pressing either the volume or mute button to activate the shutter. He was complaining that he couldn't see her through the thing, and she was becoming irritated that all she could see on the display was a dark smudge that looked more like an eye than her. I watched amusedly for a few seconds as he tried repeatedly to take her photo, and all that came out was a dark nothing. Finally, I walked over and showed them how to use the camera function on their Iphone correctly, and you would have thought I gave them the winning Lotto numbers. When he finally got a decent photo of his bride, he just shook his head and chuckled, stating "We've had this damn thing for almost a year, and hell if I could figure out how to take a damn picture with it".

I certainly wasn't going to show them how to shoot a video with it. Lord knows what kind of trouble they might get into with that!

Priorities?......

2010-11-03T19:43:00.000-07:00

I consider myself a San Francisco Giants supporter; not a fervent fan by any stretch of the imagination. I have yet to attend a game at AT&T Park. I don't have any clothing items of black and orange, although I do have a Giants baseball cap. I like all Bay Area sports teams (well, except the Raiders, and I don't like basketball at all). I certainly don't intend to downplay the recent World Series victory by the San Francisco Giants, but amid all the hoopla and celebrations, I got to thinking. It is a big achievement to win 10 baseball games to be awarded a shiny trophy and to be doused in beer and champagne. The players were all very well paid to accomplish this goal; many of them received more than you or I will in a lifetime. But when you think of it, does it really do anything to benefit society, other than to provide a few hours of entertainment for people, and to provide a reason to celebrate in the streets, and possibly trash public and private property? Then I got to asking myself some questions:

Were there any ticker tape parades today for the oncology nurse who got a difficult IV into a cancer patient so chemotherapy could be provided so the patient might be able to spend a little more time with their friends and family before the disease takes its deadly toll, or to help rid the patient of the dreaded disease?

Were there any customized hats and t-shirts made for the paramedics, firefighters and police officers who rescued a critically injured family from a devastating auto collision and got them to the hospital so they could be treated for their injuries? Or for the police officer who arrested a drunk driver before they could plow their vehicle into another car and prevent the possibility of injuries or death?

Did I miss the CNN bulletin about the school teacher who finally got through to the struggling student who could not figure out how to grasp the concept of addition and subtraction, and now has the foundation to build on math skills that will benefit him or her for the rest of their lives? Or, how about the utility worker who was sent out into the rain and wind to restore power so people like you and me could watch the World Series game on TV, in a nice, warm home with lights?

Did a million people gather to cheer as the farmers and factory workers, who provide us with so many of the things that we need to survive, drove by and waved to the adoring crowds?

Nope. But a bunch of guys who played a game got all that today.....

And that's sad.....

Playdates?

2010-07-10T23:17:00.000-07:00

When I was a kid, when we wanted to see if a friend could come out and play, we'd take our little self over to the friend's house, whether on foot, by bike, or some other means of self-sufficient transportation. Once we arrived there, we had two options to summon the friend: ring the doorbell, or knock on the door. If said friend was home and able to come out, he or she would open their door, step through it out onto the porch, and the playtime would commence. If the friend was not able to come out and play (due to it being meal time, or chores had yet to be completed), he or she would say so, and close the door. Then, we would get our self back to our home by the same means of transportation, or we'd repeat the same process at the home of another friend; repeating it over and over until someone could come out and play. Most kids had the rule to either check in every hour or so by either a phone call (no pulling out a cell phone and texting Mom or Dad your status), or be home by the time the first streetlight came on. Our neighbor down the street, Mr. Reyes, would call his sons home by standing outside in his front yard, and whistling a very loud and distinct whistle which could be heard for blocks. By default we used that whistle as our call to come home. For the most part, it worked quite well.

Nowadays parents must make "play dates" on behalf of their kids. Typically, this involves the offhand comment while waiting for our kids at their school that we "should schedule a play date". This is followed by the deploying of iPhones or other electronic organizers to check the daily schedules of our kids.

"Monday? Nope...piano lessons."
"Tuesday?...no can do...dance class."
"Can't do Wednesday because it's swim lessons."
"Let's try for Friday."
"OK...hmmm...looks clear...shall we do it at your house or mine?"
"Ah...we can do it at mine."
"Cool. Want me to drop off, or will you take home from school."
"I can drive home, and when we're done I can bring him/her back."
"Well, we have Tai Kwon Do so I will pick up so he/she can change in the car on the way to the class."
"Sounds great...Friday it is." Does he/she need a car booster seat?"
"Nope...seat belt is fine".
"Cool"....

So the appointed day arrives, and all kids are picked up and brought to the house for the "play date". What's the first thing the kids want to do?

Spread out to separate computers and play on-line games with each other.

*sigh*....

Oh, for the good ol' days, when we rode bikes without helmets, rode in cars without wearing seatbelts, rode in the beds of pick-up trucks, and could actually play outside by ourselves, without needing to be supervised by an adult.

I wonder what would happen if my kids went over to a friend's house and knocked on the door...

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished...

2010-06-06T23:33:00.000-07:00

I am among the quarter BILLION people who use Facebook. I have found it to be a fun way to catch up with people I haven't seen in years, or to keep up with the latest gossip and goings-on at work. I originally was on MySpace, but that website seems to have run its course and is on the way out. Plus, it just felt so.....middle schoolish. At least FB never allowed users to customize their profile pages with all those garish themes.

At Facebook, there are many pages that have been created to help users solve some of the many problems that surface while using the website. One of the features in place is a kind of forum where users can help other users by answering questions posted on those forums. I made the mistake of volunteering my help to other users by answering some of the questions dealing with issues I have previously dealt with, or knew I could answer because...well...I'm just a smart kind of guy. Based on some of the questions I have answered and the responses I have seen on the forums, I have come to one undisputable conclusion: There are many people out there in cyber land who are literally too stupid to be using computers. One question I answered dealt with some basic security/blocking settings, and the solution to the problem was very cut and dried. Check a box, click the 'Save' button, and the problem was solved. The original person who posted the query responded back by saying that the solution worked, thank you very much and all was good. I was floored to see that three or four other people responded afterwards saying "I am having the same problem...can you help me fix it?"

Huh?

Read the freaking answer I posted and it will work FOR YOU TOO!

It took all the restraint I could muster not to post back something to the effect of "You need to box up your computer and all its accessories and return it to the store where you got it, and tell the salesperson the reason for return is 'I am too stupid to be using this'".

Fun With Grocery Checkers...

2010-03-08T01:37:00.000-08:00

I'm a huge fan of the comic strip "Pearls Before Swine". I think the cartoonist Stephan Pastis and I were cut from the same bizarre mold. Which is scary, because to think there are two of us running around out there with such a skewed view of the world, well I just don't know. Anyway, he also has a blog, and in one of his posts, he writes about how he had some fun one day in the grocery store. You know those plastic bar divider thingies you use to segregate your groceries from the shopper's stuff in front of yours? Well, instead of laying the divider thingie across the belt, he laid it lengthwise on the belt, and put his groceries above and below it. Pretty funny stuff. So when I was at Safeway tonight, I decided to try the same thing. Bingo...comic gold.

The lady in front of me was almost done being rung up, so I found a divider thingie and placed it lengthwise in the middle of the belt. I set my items along either side of the divider as Stephan had done. As the checker turned her attention from the lady who was departing to my items, she looked at the belt, literally did a double take, then looked at me.

"Are those your groceries?" she asked me.

"Yep" I replied.

"Why did you do that?", nodding her head toward the divider thingie.

"Do what?" I asked innocently.

"Put your groceries like that?"

"Did I do something wrong"? I asked.

She paused for a moment, and I thought I could hear her brain shifting gears without putting in the clutch.

"You're supposed to use that to separate your stuff from the other person's stuff" she huffed.

"But, there aren't any other items here on the belt...they're all mine" I replied.

There are very few times when I have ever seen someone completely speechless, but I had achieved that feat with my checker. She stood there, mouth partially open staring at me, and could say nothing else but "But, that's not how you do it!"

"Well", I replied, "Can you show me where it says I *have* to do it like that, or some rulebook or store policy defining how these plastic divider-thingies are to be used?"

Another open mouthed stare...

Before my little bit of fun at someone else's expense triggered a stroke or a seizure, I decided to let her off the hook and explain why I was doing what I was doing. She eventually got a pretty good laugh out of it, and as I left her checkout counter, she said she was going to check out this funny comic strip I mentioned.

I wonder if the checkers at Raley's read "Pears Before Swine"?....

Playing On Borrowed Time

2010-02-23T23:47:00.000-08:00

It's a quiet late Tuesday night, all the rest of the family is in bed fast asleep, and I'm plopped in front of the computer, letting my thoughts go where they may as I pluck out random thoughts on the keyboard. My daughter Madeline's 8th birthday is rapidly approaching; one I feared I'd never see. Since she was born with a potentially fatal set of heart defects and required open heart surgeries when she was a mere three months old, I never counted on her being around for as long as she's been here. The doctors always placated us with the various well-meaning platitudes about her chances, but we were leery of counting on the positive side of all the predictions. Because, basically...we didn't want to have to deal the real possibility of burying our infant daughter and answering all the questions that would inevitably follow. And, having the medical background as paramedics, we both knew the real story that we were facing. But, in spite of all the dire predictions books and medicos laid out for us, Madeline has beat all the odds and flourished beyond all the predictions given to us. One of the high points in my life was dancing with her last year in the "Daddy/Daughter Dance" at her dance school annual recital. The song we used in the performance was Steven Curtis Chapman's song 'Cinderella'. To sit and listen to the lyrics is very moving, and to know he wrote the song for his daughter who was tragically killed in a terrible accident makes it all that much more poignant. I cannot even begin to fathom the heartbreak he experienced going through that ordeal, especially since my daughter has survived her heart issues and continues to thrive. But...c'mon...I'm a realist. There is always looming over us the possibility Madeline may need more surgeries, and the chance she might just pass on from an unexpected cardiac event looms ever present. So we live for each and every moment with her, and cherish the time we have. I have already begun rehearsals for the next Daddy Daughter Dance, and we'll be dancing to Bob Carlisle's "Butterfly Kisses". I will continue to hug and kiss her every chance I get, and revel in the laughter and giggles she gives us...and be thankful for each and every moment I'm given with her. I can truly say I know exactly what unconditional love is. Nothing else in the world matters.

Peace...

Rants on a job....

2009-08-11T21:40:00.000-07:00

I enjoy my job.

Not 'love', because that particular emotion should be reserved for people who are very important in your life. But, I enjoy working as a paramedic. Note I didn't say 'being a paramedic', because my job is not my existence. I am a husband, and I am a Dad. My occupation is paramedic. I don't let my vocation define who I am. I'm not one of those types in the EMS field who festoon their personal vehicle with stickers, decals, lights and sirens that scream to the world "I AM EMS....LOVE ME!", nor do I wear at least one piece of clothing every day that has some pithy EMS slogan on it (Paramedics do it with lights and sirens!). I admit I do have an Alameda County paramedic sticker on my vehicle, but it serves a different purpose. It is used as a ticket avoidance apparatus, in case I happen to be pulled over by law enforcement for doing something more befitting an Oakland Raider fan. I have only had to rely on that sticker a few times in my lifetime, since I am basically a safe driver who is occasionally overcome with mild road rage when someone does something stupid on the road in front of me. With that sticker I have a 100% success rate of citation avoidance in the few times I have been pulled over.

But I digress...

There are distinct sub-groups within the EMS employee pool nowadays. You have the career EMS people (like myself) who are satisfied to have steady work, a good paycheck and job security in these days of economic uncertainty. Usually you find workers with 10 or more years on the job in this category. I myself have worked for AMR for over 25 years, and my partner has been with the company for over three decades. Then, there is the middle group, where the average seniority is around five to ten years, and quite a few of those folks are using EMS as a stepping stone into the fire service or some other medical field. Lastly, you have the young newbies who really have no clue what they want to be when they grow up, and thought it would be cool to scream around the streets with lights and sirens blaring, and stick needles into people. I took a few fire tests in the past, only because most fire departments were starting to 'go paramedic', and lots of ambulance medics were getting on with fire departments. I got a few job offers, but they weren't with departments I wanted to be a part of at the time. I am one of those people who run *out* of burning buildings, not into them. Plus, I had a couple of very young children at home, and I wanted to make sure I was coming home to them at the end of a shift. So I stuck it out with AMR, and generally I think it has been a good choice. Lately, however...this job seems to be becoming more like a high school soap opera than a vocation.

One thing that really pisses me off is the work ethic that some of our employees display. For some of the younger workers, and a few of the older ones as well, their job gets in the way of the partying and vacation trips. Weekends are especially bad. If the weather is nice, and someone has mentioned Vegas or a lake trip in a Facebook blog, these folks call in "sick" for their shifts and head off for the fun, leaving the responsible employees who actually *do* show up for work to pick up the slack. Scathing MySpace and Facebook comments, memos and cartoons around the deployment center have little to no effect. There are other employees who post inappropriate and probably harassing posts on other employees' social networking pages, thinking they are funny and cute. I certainly hope the offended employees are saving those posts as legal defense in the inevitable workplace harassment lawsuits that are forthcoming. Other employees have the scheduling folks wrapped around their fingers, and score the 'cush' shifts before anyone else has the chance to pick them up, or work trades to their benefit so they get to work in 'The Valley", instead of Oakland. Rather than play by the book, so to speak, they want to push the system as far as it will benefit them. Is this a workplace, or some deranged high school scenario? To these system manipulators, us older folks are referred to as "grumpy old men", and whiners. Why? Because we come to work, do our jobs and go home? I recently spent a day at the office, separating the daily paperwork and getting it ready for the billing process. I was blown away by the inequity that exists in the field with regard to work volume. Some units had log sheets that were almost full, with 12 or 15 calls in a 12 hour shift. Other units that worked basically the same hours in the same area had two or three calls in that same time period. Call dodging and 'dispatcher manipulation' has become almost an art form for some of these crews. I can't count the number of times I have stayed up to restock the unit, or take the extra fifteen minutes at four in the morning returning from a call to go get fuel so the oncoming crew has a full tank to start their shift, or cleaned the station so they aren't walking into a dump. I also can't count the number of times the off-going grew has stated "The rig's good to go", and upon closer inspection there are only two IV set ups remaining, the main oxygen tank is at 300 psi and all but one portable tank is empty, the gurney is unmade, the trash container is overflowing, the fuel tank is below half full, and all but one ECG monitor battery is dead. Yup...."Good to go".....right out of service.

Now I will be the first to admit I am far from perfect. I hate getting out of bed at night for calls. I've hated it since Day 1 and I certainly hate it 26 years later. I am definitely not cheerful and happy-go-lucky at 3am after no sleep and 10 calls. My daytime demeanor is infinitely better than my post-midnight mood. But I do not short-change my patients. They will get my best treatment and assessment, but there probably won't be joking and laughing involved. I will be working a different shift soon, 12 hours at night, so I can sleep in my own bed every day. Knowing that you're going home after twelve hours surely improves your mood, rather than getting beat for 12 hours and knowing your shift is only half finished.

I'm hoping that things will eventually work themselves out, karma being what it is and all that. For those people who come to work every day, do their job to the best of their abilities and do at least a little to make AMR a better place to work, I thank you. It is that work ethic that keeps even the smallest glimmer of hope alive within me, and keeps me coming back to work day after day. If you see someone doing something stupid, or you're tired of picking up someone else's slack, speak up and say something! I certainly appreciate the effort you are putting forth. And to those employees who treat the job and the workplace as their own whipping bitch to get whatever will benefit them the most...your time will come. People will eventually tire of the bullshit and do something about it. You'd probably spend less energy just doing the right thing than running around trying to avoid it.

Power Adapter, Anyone?

2009-08-11T16:16:00.000-07:00

Our house is slowly being overrun by power adapters. I discovered this fact today while unwrapping a new Bluetooth headset I was given for my birthday. Like all new electronic gadgets, it came with its own proprietary power cord. Now, this isn't the only Bluetooth headset I have. The new one, like my previous model, is manufactured by Plantronics. There is nothing wrong with my old model; it still works fine. I've had it for a couple of years, and in that time I have yet to figure out how it works. I have been able to pair it with the various phones I have owned during the life of the headset, but answering a call with it usually involved disconnecting the calling party. I did try once to adjust the volume on it, but I only succeeded in deafening myself in one ear temporarily with the volume tone. I don't have very high expectations with regard to this new headset either. I was curious to see if the power cord from the older headset worked with the new model, and it does. So now I have two power cords when I really only needed one. Eventually I will break one of the headsets, either by sitting on it in the car, or stepping on it as I exit my car and it falls off my head into the pavement. And this is where the power cord multiplication comes in.

We still have most of the cords, adapters, and charging bases for many of the electronic gadgets we have purchased over the years. Heck, we still have many of the old, inoperative or outdated cell phones we have upgraded. Why? I have no idea. And their respective charging cords have been tossed into a basket on our counter, looking like a huge black tarantula overflowing out of the basket. Now I did try and clear up the clutter and confusion by labeling them at one time, but "Mike's headset" is a little ambiguous. Especially with more than one. Don't even ask me to figure out which "Phone charger" goes with which phone...

Do you think I can find the correct cord when I need to charge my phone or headset.

Of course not. So what do I usually do?

Yep, that's right.

Buy extra power cords.

Help me.....

Another Job I'll Never Have...

2009-07-13T19:23:00.000-07:00

I admit it.

I could never be a police officer.

It's not that I couldn't deal with all the crime and other stuff our men and women in blue have to deal with on a daily basis. I share much of that crap with them in the performance of my job duties. They deal with drunks...so do I. Auto accidents? Ditto. No...I couldn't be a cop because I would shoot people just for being stupid. I wouldn't make it past the first day of probation. I give props to all the police officers who have infinitely more self-control than I do.

It turns out I could not be a grocery checker either. Again...it's the public stupidity issue. I was at Safeway today, grabbing something quick to take home and feed the family. BBQ some chicken and corn on the cob, some steak fries and all would be good. Pick up some bread since we were out, and some other things that looked good as I zoomed by with my cart. Check the item count...cool....12. Head to the "Express Lane". Now, notice I put Express Lane in quotes. Safeway does NOTHING in an express mode. But as I wheel my cart up to the belt to unload my cart, I notice there's no room on it because this moron in front of me has unloaded a *full * cart of items onto it. It appeared he was buying enough to feed the 143 Airborne Regiment at Camp Parks. The glares and stares from the people in other lines, and behind me were growing more acidic with each item he unloaded. I cleared my throat, and kind of made the "look up there at the '15 Items or Less' sign you idiot", but he didn't catch the clue. I felt like telling him "What....didn't Bert and Ernie get to 15 when they were counting today on Sesame Street", but instead I just mentioned to him that he was in the Express Lane...15 or fewer items.

He just shrugged his shoulders and inanely said "oops...my bad".

Now it took all that I could humanly muster not to punch the stupid out of this guy, but then he did something that made everyone around us gasp in disbelief.

He told the clerk at our register "Ooops...forgot the Pepsi....be right back!" And with that he left the line, ran to the back of the store and returned with two large 12-packs under each arm. The clerk on the register next to us commented to the guy that he was holding up the "Express Lane", and he should have been told to take all his stuff to another register. He again just shrugged his shoulders and rummaged through his wallet for his ATM card. Ordinarily I wouldn't have made much out of it, but the store was very busy, and there were 4 or 5 people waiting in each open register line. An older lady in the next line made a comment about how rude and inconsiderate he was being, as did a guy in the opposite line, although his comments included the word asshole and other various obscenities. The dude looks at me for some type of support or sympathy, and I just looked at him, smiled slightly and told him he was an idiot.

I think he realized just how pissed everyone around him was getting, because in his haste to get out of there, he botched his attempt at entering his PIN twice. What a yutz....

Nope. I won't be submitting my application to Safeway any time soon. I'll stick with being a paramedic. At least I get to stick needles into people.

The Daddy Daughter Dance

2009-06-16T17:20:00.000-07:00

My daughter Madeline loves to dance. She has been enrolled at Tiffany's Dance Academy since she was three years old. She started off back then in the 'Twinkle Stars' class, learning the basics of tap dance and ballet. As she has grown and progressed, she has taken classes in jazz dance as well. Each year, TDA puts on a performance in June called 'The Big Show'. This performance showcases all the TDA classes, from the kindergarten kids all the way up to the high school girls. Each year has a different theme to the show, and this year's Big Show was "The Silver Screen". All the TDA classes had dances tied to some piece of music that was key to a movie, such as Snow White, or Top Gun. Madeline was enrolled in 6 different classes and performing casts, which meant she had 6 different dances to learn, and we had 6 different costumes to purchase. But this year was to be the most special so far. This year we were doing the Daddy/Daughter dance together.

The Daddy/Daughter is the last performance of the Big Show, except for the cast and staff finales. The DDD is a chance for fathers to participate in something meaningful in their daughter's life, since Mom is usually the person who is the primary force in the dancing career of the daughter. And, to quote the words of Tiffany herself, "It's a way for us to see how many people in the audience we can make cry because the dance is so emotional". The whole process for this particular dance was pretty secret. Each of the monthly rehearsals were closed to outsiders; no Moms or other family allowed. The academy even went so far as to cover the windows of the practice studio so people could not watch from outside. The DVDs we were given to watch so we could learn the dances came with explicit instructions: No one else was allowed to see them! So we practiced over the course of the spring, learning our particular parts down to the beat. There were so many couples participating in the dance, that all the performers had to be divided into three groups. It was extremely gratifying to see so many Dads willing to do this for their little girls.

The big secret was revealed on the day of the dress rehearsal. The costume that was worn by the girls was a blue Cinderella dress, since we were using Steven Curtis Chapman's song 'Cinderella' for the performance. Our outfit was a simple black suit, and black tie. Madeline was all dolled up in her dress and makeup; she looked adorable. As soon as she saw me walk backstage, she ran toward me, her long blue dress flowing behind her as she ran. I got the biggest hug, and she thanked me for doing this for her. That right there made all the rest of the world insignificant.

We ran through our performance a couple of times, noting where our marks were on stage for positioning, and practiced the end of the dance, the bow and the stage exit. Now all we had to do was wait a few days for the actual performance. While talking with a few other Dads after the rehearsal, it was clear they were doing the dance for the same reason I was...because we would do anything to make our daughters happy. Plus, I admit, I wanted to see if we could make people in the audience cry.

The day of the performance absolutely flew by. All the Dads gathered backstage a few performances before we were to go on. We all lined up in a large room, daughters at our sides. All, except for me. Madeline was in the second to the last dance group, and after she finished, she was rushed backstage to change into her Cinderella dress, and was brought to me just before we walked to the wings to wait to go out to perform. When she saw me, she rushed to me again, and held my hand so tightly as we walked toward the stage.

The performance started in a dark theater. We walked onstage in the dark, guided by a glow-in-the-dark line on the floor to help position us. As we emerged from the wings, a clip of the animated movie Cinderella played on a screen above us. We started out sitting cross-legged on the floor, with our daughters standing behind us. As the clip ended, the stage lights came up, and we could hear an audible gasp and 'awwws' from the audience. As I sat there, looking out into the darkness, I knew this was going to be a great time. The music started, and we did what we were supposed to do. Lifted and spun when choreographed, twirled and held in my arms. The end of our part had the girls running off stage as we watched, then we follow them offstage. We got a loud round of applause as the next groups did their parts, and Madeline again grabbed my hand tightly as we waited backstage for our last part at the end of the dance.

Our last part of the dance included everyone else too. We all came out on stage, and the lyrics of the song go "And she'll.....be......gone"... On the word 'she'll', we turn and step to face our daughter, kiss her hand gently, and finish the dance.

More gasps and 'awwwws...'

We received a very loud standing ovation, and after the lights came up for our bows, I was able to look out into the audience.....

Yep. We made 'em cry. Most of them, anyway...

Yes, I'm doing it again next year.

Another Station Bites The Dust...

2009-05-20T22:47:00.000-07:00

I was in my car yesterday afternoon, heading to the school to pick up my kids. I had been listening to a CD instead of the radio for quite a bit, so I decided to listen to the stereo for a change. I had the number 1 button programmed to KKSF out of San Francisco, a very cool smooth jazz station. Imagine my surprise when the music started pouring out of the speakers, and it was Led Zeppelin. Last time I checked, they were hardly a smooth jazz group. I thought that maybe I had pushed the wrong button, so I punched the number 1 button again.

Still Jimmy Paige screeching.

What the?......

My first thought was there had been a format change, so when I arrived at the school, I fired up my iPhone and looked on KKSF's website to see what was up. It was as I feared...KKSF smooth jazz had become 'The Band', playing classic rock similar to what can be found on any one of about 50 other Bay Area radio stations. Crap.

I had listened to KKSF since Day 1, when it switched formats to smooth jazz from the old KFRC-FM "Yes/No Radio" genre. The station would play songs, and listeners would call in and vote yes or no to add the song to the station's library. Pretty cheesy, but the station was popular with the little old ladies sitting at home with nothing better to do, or the unemployed people who were too lazy to dial the 1-800 number for any of the high priced tech school commercials aimed at just that demographic. KKSF brought a new format that was rare in the Bay Area; the only other jazz type station was KBLX, and they played too much R&B and Soul for my taste. KKSF had real live DJs playing songs, and their names quickly became familiar with listeners. At night, after 7pm, they ran a show called "Lights Out San Francisco". Very few commercials, all instrumental music, aimed at the tired worker bee home from the office, kicking off his or her shoes, tippling a glass of wine and relaxing after a long work day. Being a paramedic, I was a huge fan of "LOSF", and since I was up a lot at night working, the station was always on in the ambulance. I purchased many CDs based on the music I heard over KKSF. I attended a few concerts sponsored by the station; Special EFX, The Rippingtons, The Yellowjackets just to name a few. I even won one of their "Loyal Listener" promotions...a cool $1000 dollars after I heard my name called on the radio. For more that 20 years, KKSF was *the* home for smooth jazz in the Bay Area.

Then, things slowly began to change. Long time DJs left for other stations. Overnight programming became automated; no live people, only computer-played tunes. More and more pop music leaked into the format. Really now...is Alicia Keys jazz?

Hardly.

KKSF became more like the KBLX I detested. When the morning and evening drive-time slots switched to shows broadcast from other markets, I knew the end was near. I just wasn't expecting it to be so soon. Remember Whoopi Goldberg's show? Didn't think so. Is Ramsey Lewis really a radio show host? Nope. He's a world-class jazz piano player. And finally, on May 18, 2009 at 3pm....KKSF smooth jazz died.

In its place...."The Band". Nope. Won't listen. Radio button number 1 will be re-programmed after all these years. KDFC is moving up in the world. I always did like classical. Just not as much as smooth jazz. And, I still have XM...71 is a great channel playing smooth jazz....called "Watercolors". Plus, I like Lily....her voice is awesome.

RIP KKSF Smooth Jazz. You had a great run.

It's A Small World After All.....

2009-05-05T16:41:00.000-07:00

Last summer, I was part of an ambulance strike team that was sent to the Texas and Louisiana Gulf Coast region when Hurricanes Gustav and Ike came to town. Our team was made up of some really cool EMTs and paramedics from Alameda, Contra Costa, Santa Clara and Santa Cruz counties. Our strike team leader was a guy named Brian, who is a Field Supervisor in Contra Costa. I had never met him before; actually I had never met most of the people on the team until we gathered in the ticketing area of SFO the night we were deployed to the Gulf.

Fast forward a week or so to a truck stop somewhere outside Katy, Texas. Our team was sitting down to a nice hot meal in the restaurant located within the truck stop. We had been running back and forth all over southern Texas for a few days, and it was going to be great to sit down and relax for a bit with some real, hot, almost-home cooked food. As we all settled in around the table, our waitress accidentally spilled most of our beverages all over poor Brian. He was good about it, joking with the waitress as she cleaned up the mess. After Brian was dried off, we got to talking about his recent employment at AMR. He came from the ambulance service in Fresno, and I mentioned my in-laws lived there. We chit-chatted about the Fresno area, and I asked him where he had moved to when he came to Contra Costa. He said he had settled in Concord, and I mentioned I had lived in Concord when I graduated high school back in 1989. He asked me which school, and I mentioned it was Concord High. He said that he lived very near Concord High. I said we had lived close to the school too, and I asked which street he lived on. When he told me the street, I laughed and said it was the street *I* lived on. I asked him the numbers of his house, and my jaw almost hit the floor. It was *my* old house! My parents had lived there until a few years ago, when they sold the house and moved up to the mountains. I didn't tell him that right away, but I said things about the details of the house only a resident could know; the HUGE King Arthur style fireplace in the family room addition, the tiny upstairs bedroom, and the big old bar in the family room. He looked at me like I was some alien from another planet, so I let him in on the secret and told him I lived there before he did. He still looked at me like I was insane, but we got to talking about the house, and all of the improvements he had recently done to it. I had seen photos of the house on-line when it was on the market a while back, and the house looked great! We had a great laugh about the coincidence of it all, being more than 2,000 miles away from home and all, and never having met before. Weird....and kind of cool.

How NOT To Win Friends And Influence Police Officers

2009-04-26T08:13:00.000-07:00

Our call of the day yesterday included two of the most common factors we deal with in the World of EMS: alcohol and idiots. These two factors are also part of my job security, so I shouldn't complain too loudly.
We got a call for shortness of breath at the clubhouse of a local golf course. Now, see, already, my Skepticism-O-Meter is starting to head towards the Red Zone. It was already after dark when we got this call, so I was doubting very seriously that we were going for someone struck in the head with a golf ball. More likely, some 25 handicapper who overindulged in a bit of the spirits and had an unfortunate encounter with gravity. Two minutes of red lights and tinnitus-inducing siren noise later and we pulled up to the scene to see two or three of the local gendarmes playing 'giddy-yup' on a guy thrashing about on the ground. Juuuust lovely...

Now I must tell you about one of the slickest inventions that has ever graced the world of crime fighting and EMS. It is called the Spit Sock. It looks like a small fine-mesh fabric laundry bag with an elastic collar around its opening, and it is fitted over the head of a person who has decided they are going to empty every last drop of spittle from their salivary glands on whomever happens to be in range. The elastic is just tight enough to keep the sock in place, despite the most aggressive attempts at shaking it loose, yet it isn't so tight that it strangles the person; although just by wearing the Spit Sock, the person probably deserves to be strangled anyway. A bonus for our viewing pleasure is that when the offending spit-hurler attempts to launch their loogie at us, it sticks to the side of the sock, and eventually settles back onto the face of said spitter. Priceless. Our gentleman had...oh...half a dozen of the said spit bombs stuck to his face and forehead. Continuing on...

This guy had downed WAY too many adult beverages during his stay at the club house, and the staff at the bar called 911 when they saw the dude trying to head to his car and drive home. The responding officers arrived before Sir Spits-a-Lot could drive away, and the cops were going to be all nice to him and try to find him a ride home, rather than haul his soggy ass to jail. Fine. Great. How nice of them. Instead, Larry Loogie decides he's going to take a swing at one of the officers.

Baaaad decision. The fight, as they say, is on.

Guess who won?...

So after he has some fancy silver bracelets placed on his wrists, Mike Tyson decides he will get out of this situation by faking shortness of breath. By holding his breath. Which works. For about 30 seconds. Then he gasps breathing again, and realizes that no one is falling for his act. So now he's even more pissed off, and the expletives start flying like hot water from Old Faithful. F--- you this, and Mother F----er that, and so on and so on. A couple more snot bombs are launched, which promptly land back on his face. Ha. And who's to say the sock didn't get adjusted so that the bombs didn't get smeared a little.

OK...a lot.

I didn't do it. Really I didn't.

Anyways, the diatribe against me, my mother and the rest of my lineage continued all the way to the ED. I tried asking him his name, and all I got was 'Fuck you'. So, in the computer I typed First Name: Fuck

Last Name: You

"Sir, do you have a middle name?"

"Fuck you, asshole".

Middle Name: Asshole.

"You know, there are a LOT of people in this world with your exact same name!"

*spit*......oooh....that one ended up in his eye. Oh, too bad.

He faked unconsciousness the rest of the way to the ED, which was fine by me. The nastier he got, the nicer I became. Which pissed him off even more. And got him more sputum in his eyes. Ha.

After arriving at the ED, he was no nicer to the staff there, so after a quick 'clearance for incarceration', he was off to the Grey Bar Hotel. As he rolled by on the way to the police car, I wished him a happy stay at Santa Rita.

*spit*

Ah...got the other eye.

I love my job.

Better Let Your Kid Drive, Ma'am

2009-04-22T22:41:00.000-07:00

I find myself having less and less tolerance for idiot drivers as I age. People who talk on cell phones while driving are at the top of my list; it is against the law to drive while talking on a handheld phone in California. In my 'perfect' world, all drivers would be equipped with paintball guns. When a person witnesses someone do something illegal, stupid, or (more likely), both, it would be legal to pull out your paintball gun and blast the offending car with a purple splotch. Any car that was driving around with two or more splotches would automatically be pulled over by the police and issued a citation for being stupid. Five or more blotches earns the offending moron a Taser shot. Ten or more and you're imprisoned. Or forced to watch High School Musical 2 for a week. I'm sure by then the offender would be begging for another Taser zap.

I'm pulling around the parking lot at my kids' school yesterday, and I am nearly backed into by a woman yakking on her cell phone as she was pulling out of a handicapped parking stall. Her vehicle did not display the proper placard or license plate, so she was breaking two laws at once. She was oblivious until she heard my horn sound loudly at her. Another coat of paint on my car and she would have struck me. No wave, no shrug of the shoulders, no acknowledgement of almost plowing into me. She held her phone in place against her shoulder with her ear as she used both hands to turn her wheel quickly and pull forward, maintaining her conversation.

Almost hitting the car in front of her.

What made this whole scenario ironically funny was the bumper sticker affixed proudly to her vehicle touting the fact her child was a Special Student at a local school. Obviously the kid got the smarts from Dad.

Maybe the kid should be driving instead of Mom.

*Pow**Pow**Pow*....three splotches.

Where's my Taser?

You want a piece of me, old man?

2009-04-17T21:03:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting at a stoplight this afternoon, waiting to make a left turn. Green arrow comes, old man in the car in front of me just sits there. I count 1..2..3..4..5, still he sits there. Give him a short honk to get him moving. He sticks his hand out the window and gives me what I believe to be the finger; his arthritic fingers are too bent and misshapen to tell.

Whatever...

I pull in to the place where I am dropping off some e-waste for recycling, and the ol' coot pulls up next to me and starts in about if I am in too much of a hurry to give him a minute to move, well then blah blah blah. I replied I thought he fell asleep or died or something, and he told me he'd show me how awake he was. I asked him what was he gonna show me...his pacemaker? He harumphed something and sped off. Oh, and he took out about 5 traffic cones in the process.

Dumbass.

You couldn't see this coming?....

2009-04-13T15:13:00.001-07:00

We had a call earlier today for a woman bit by a dog. On arrival, we found the fire department on scene, as well as a couple of police and animal control officers. The woman had sustained a couple of small, non-suturable lacerations to her thumb. She got the cuts while trying to break up a fight between two pit bulls and a little chihuahua, who had unfortunately been killed in the attack. It seemed all the dogs belonged to the woman, and my question is why would you own a chihuahua with a pair of pit bulls? Did she think the dogs would all co-exist in peace and harmony, happily playing with chew toys, romping through the clover, and sharing food and water bowls? Did she not expect that one day, the dogs would think to themselves "Yo quiero Taco Bell" and have themselves a Mexican snack?

So sad a little pooch had to die because of a human's stupidity.

Refresher courses...ain't nothing refreshing about them...

2009-03-28T21:46:00.000-07:00

ACLS.

Advanced Cardiac Life Support.

One of the multiple certifications we must maintain continuously in order to work as paramedics. Which means every two years, I have to attend an 'ACLS Refresher Course". We are lucky here at AMR in that we have our own independent education division, and the classes are provided multiple times a month at no cost to employees. That is probably the only saving grace regarding these classes. Oh, did I mention I am recertifying for the 12th time in my career?

That's 24 years worth of continuous certification. Impressed? Didn't think so.

It's funny, in an ironically scary and borderline negligent sort of manner, that much of the medicine I learned when I first became a paramedic has been proven to actually be harmful to patients. We used to give amps and amps of sodium bicarbonate on cardiac arrest victims, following the amps of epinephrine already given, which was immediately inactivated by the bicarb. But the cool part was flipping those yellow caps off the ends of the pre-loads, like Johnny Gage used to do on 'Emergency!'. Especially cool on a code in a public place. Catch the eye of a young cutie nearby, flip off the caps and give her a wink. Thinking back, I was probably freaking them out a bit. MAST pants? Best thing since sliced bread and battle proven to help saves lives of trauma patients. Great, right? Nope. We probably killed more patients than we saved.

"But the trousers controlled bleeding and squeezed it up into the patients' bodies from their legs where the blood was needed".

No...the increased pressure actually made them bleed out faster. Think squeezing a water balloon with a hole in it.

Ooops. My bad.

The one thing that has remained consistent throughout the years is electricity. If their EKG is squiggling, zap 'em. Didn't work? Zap 'em with more. We don't stop until they're smoking.

Literally.

Drugs we used to give to patients suffering from (wait...can you really be suffering?...I mean..c'mon....you're pretty much dead) ventricular fibrillation were found to do nothing. Lidocaine? Nope. Bretylium? Nope. Isuprel? Nope. Amiodarone is the "new and improved antiarrhythmic" nowadays. I'm expecting that 20 years down the road, Amiodarone will be the cause of a flood of new patients with chronic anal pimples. And ACLS will change to some new wonder drug. Sad part is that 20 years down the road, I will probably still be refreshing my ACLS card.

For the 22nd time.

Gawd...

A Sad, Very Sad and Unhappy Day Today...

2009-03-27T18:30:00.000-07:00

Today, four brave police officers from the Oakland Police Department were memorialized in a ceremony at the Oracle Arena in the very city in which they were murdered. Thousands of people from around the country...no....the world, came to pay their last respects to these fine men who gave their lives in service to their city. If you've never been to a memorial service for a police officer, I heartily do NOT recommend it. It is one of the saddest events you can imagine. To see men and women, who have taken it upon themselves to do a job that many people automatically associate with "The Man", and therefore hate these people by default, reduced to tears at the loss of one or more of their own, is devastatingly heartbreaking. I have attended funerals for police officers, firefighters, and a co-worker who was killed on his way to work in an automobile accident. It never gets any easier. On the contrary...

I was driving into the operations center today to do some computer work, and I noticed police cars and fire trucks stationed on overpasses that spanned the freeway, all lit up with emergency lights flashing, and their occupants standing at attention, gazing down on the roadway. I looked in my rear-view mirror and noticed a funeral procession proceeding along in the two left-most lanes. I would say hundreds of vehicles made up the procession, all with headlights on, stretching back along the roadway as far as I could see. As the procession passed slower moving traffic, it was heartening to see many motorists wave, salute, or give a thumbs-up to the cars as they passed. It made me feel a little better, but not much. I would have preferred not to have these funerals at all.

I did not know any of the officers who were gunned down that day. That fact does not make this whole event any easier. We are lucky enough to share a special kinship with the police officers and firefighters we work with on a daily basis. That relationship extends to the doctors, nurses and hospital staff we work with as well. What happens to them, affects us. We depend on the police to keep us safe out there as we do our job, and they depend on us to help them if the need ever arises. And you can bet your ass that any time I have been needed to help, they got the best I could offer. They should expect nothing less. That is one of the reasons this tragedy hits us all so hard. What makes it even harder to accept is when some groups of people blame the police for this happening, that it was retaliation for an event totally not connected with the cop killings. These same people stood across the street from the dying police officers and laughed.

Laughed at the officers as they died.

Unconscionable.

These are the same people who call 911 for the most minuscule of problems and then treat us like shit, spew profanities at us, and call us racists. All for doing our job. Nice.

But, as professionals, we treat them and transport them. Not because "we have to". We do it because it's our job. We're not looking for thanks, because it's bloody likely we won't receive them. We do it for our own personal satisfaction, because we know in our hearts we can be proud of what we do, and that matters a hell of a lot more than insincere thanks from an ungrateful patient. Unfortunately, the police get treated even worse.

All for wearing a badge.

Sgt. Mark Dunakin,
Officer John Hege,
Sgt. Ervin Romans,
Sgt. Daniel Sakai

Rest peacefully, and thank you for all you did. We really did appreciate it.

Liar...liar...how’d ya like some withdrawals?

2009-01-05T19:15:00.000-08:00

Today's fun call was for this patient who was pulled over by the local PD for reports of driving under the influence. Officer sees that the patient is not all there, and the patient is a Type II diabetic, so he calls for medical assessment. We get there, the patient's sugar is fine, although the FD medic gave the patient a tube of Glucose to eat. No harm, no foul. Patient's pupils are pinpoint, and the patient denies taking any narcotics, although uses morphine for chronic pain but has been out since the end of the year. Hrm...OK. Agrees to go to the ED, and on the trip up, is doing the 'heroin nod and snort', as well as not even finishing an answer when asked a question. So, it's Narcan time. Of course after some vitamin 'N' the patient wakes up, starts wiggling around uncomfortably, and complains of feeling REALLY sick. Nothing like a case of instant withdrawals.

Still denied taking anything even after telling the nurse it felt like bugs were crawling all over...

*sigh*

-cya

Gotta Love New Year's resolutions...

2009-01-04T15:56:00.001-08:00

It's always funny to see the 'Resolution Rats' at the gym during the first month or so of the New Year. All decked out in their fancy UnderArmour workout wear, brand new Reeboks trying to keep up in the step classes and other group exercise classes, yakking on cell phones while sitting on a piece of equipment, and just walking away from said equipment without wiping it down. You can usually get an idea of how many new members will be around by watching them in December walking around the club with the sales managers. Things usually settle back to normal by March.

Drunk People Can't Think Straight...

2008-10-12T21:16:00.000-07:00

So I was awakened from a nice sleep at 3.30am this morning to respond to an auto vs. building call. On arrival, we find an obviously inebriated, Spanish-speaking only patient who decided to create his own parking space inside an apartment. He's relatively uninjured, more damage to the car and building than to him. Basically he finished his shift at a Mexican restaurant (big surprise) and downed a few 'cervezas' before hitting the road. He overshoots the driveway to his complex (at 30 mph, apparently) and hits the apartamento...burying the truck in someone's kitchen. On the way to the hospital, he's telling me this story about stopping to talk to two black men, a gun and a knife and how he runs from them. Oh, and it wasn't the same story he was telling to the officers who were interviewing him at the ER. It turned into four men and two guns. Alcohol must multiply your assailants I guess. Sad part was that he works to send money back to his familia in Mexico, and now that he'll be in jail and probably be fired, his family suffers for his stupidity.

Shame...

-cya

My Summary Of My FEMA Deployment

2008-10-05T21:46:00.000-07:00

I've had time to rest, recover and digest all that I experienced on my recent ambulance strike team FEMA deployment. I must admit it was quite an experience, and not what I had expected. Many of the people who worked Katrina and Rita told stories of rescues, evacuations,and being worked ragged during their deployments, but that just didn't happen this time. Maybe it's because FEMA overdid the resource requests so as not to be caught with their pants down, so to speak. In any event, it was financially lucrative for me, but I certainly would have liked to have been busier. One thing that made it bearable was the great group of people we had on our strike team. We all had 'our moments' at one time or another, but for the most part we all got along very well, and even had fun most of the time. Some of the other things I learned on this trip:

I can sleep quite well on an airport floor...

FEMA cache ambulances are pieces of crap...

I am not a fan of brisket tacos and beans for breakfast...

NEVER eat chow line eggs.....EVER!

Bathrooms on tour buses smell no better as the temperature rises...

Love Bugs do not clean well off windshields...you need a chisel!

Truck Stop showers are better than sliced bread...

Truck stops are really cool places...

Shower trailers aren't all that bad...

I hate Texas...

Lafayette, Louisiana is a pretty cool place, and friendly too!

Changing a tire in a downpour while being eaten by mosquitos sucks big time...

Bourbon Street is a really awesome place...Yo Mamma's Grill is the BEST!

People should evacuate when told to....PERIOD!

Did I mention I hate Texas?

I was talking with a Port Arthur, Texas resident, and when he learned I was from California, he mentioned he could never live in California, what with the earthquakes we have. I looked at him, looked around at all the hurricane destruction, and said "And this is any better?" He replied "Well, we have warning for a hurricane, and we can get out". I just laughed and said "Does it really make it any better to know that in four days or so, all you own will be blown halfway to Canada, after you probably just got it rebuilt from the last storm that came through? At least with a quake, we don't know its happening until its over." He still wasn't convinced.

Nice guy though...just a little off kilter...

I'd say I learned a lot on the trip, and if called upon to do it again, I probably will. The hardest part was being gone for so long. And the lack of communication from the top on down. FEMA needs to address this, so all crews can be better informed of things as time goes on.

Although if the next deployment is to Texas, I ain't goin'.

c-ya!

A Quick Question...

2008-10-05T21:45:00.001-07:00

Can some one answer me this simple question?

Why would an egg company, who touts their organic eggs as cage free, no hormones, all natural and environmentally sensitive, package said eggs in a petroleum based non-biodegradable PLASTIC egg container?

Amazing...

-cya...

Home At Last!

2008-09-20T18:15:00.000-07:00

After 22 long days of boredom, fatigue, and many other emotions, I am finally back from my first, and probably last, FEMA deployment. I arrived back in Oakland around 12.30 this afternoon, and I was happily greeted by two screaming children and an exhausted wife. I stopped by the deployment center, picked up my car that was covered with three weeks of dust, and drove home. After a family lunch at The Hopyard Alehouse, I am slowly trying to catch up with all that I missed while I was gone. I am too tired to really post a final comment on how I felt during the trip, so I will post later after I have about three days sleep. I will be posting a photo album of pictures I took on the trip as well...watch for those.

c-ya...

-Mike

So Close Yet So Far...

2008-09-19T18:27:00.000-07:00

Some new folks arrived today from the Bay Area, and at first we were told they were our replacements. We were to pack our stuff, clean the ambulances because they would be taking over in them, and to report to the IC to start the demobilization process. We would be flying out today. YES!! Finally! But no sooner do we get to the IC...you guessed it...CHANGE OF PLANS!! We are still sitting in this damn warehouse twiddling our thumbs. What a screwed up system. We have done a total of FIVE transports in the three weeks we have been here. We have driven almost 5000 miles around this God forsaken countryside, wasted untold gallons of fuel idling to keep cool in the heat and for what? To keep getting smacked down over and over. What a messed up system. Never again. Ever.

Houston, You Are Cleared For Takeoff!!

2008-09-19T11:45:00.000-07:00

It finally happened. Six of us have been demobilized and are in the airport heading home. We have an eight o'clock flight outta here in the morning. The remaining four have new partners, and will stay a while longer. I should be home in about 12 hours. Hallelujah!

c-ya

Mike

Here Gator, Gator, Gator...

2008-09-17T21:40:00.000-07:00

We are now in Port Arthur TX after doing missions here that amounted to nothing. When we arrived the locals didn't need our help. We did rescue an American flag from a flooded bayou. It looked like it came from the place where we were waiting, so I dried it a bit, folded it properly, and left it with a note on their doorstep. Even a hurricane cant diss our flag. We had some good bbq and gumbo for dinner, listened to some live music, and now its bedtime. We are sleeping on a stage because apparently a gator wandered into the hall last night. They keep the back door open since theres no AC. Lovely...

Nothing Funny About Being Here...

2008-09-16T23:29:00.000-07:00

We got the call around dinner time that we would be deployed to a high school in Galveston where a DMAT was set up. Search and rescue teams were going door to door looking for victims. People needing medical help are brought to the DMAT, treated, and if need be, transported off the island. The amount of sheer destruction is humbling. Dozens of boats that were blown onto I-45 were just bulldozed to the side of the road with all the debris. Homes were destroyed by water, wind or fire. Of course there is no power or water. Things wont be normal here for years. Sad.

I'm Running Out Of Witty Subject Titles...

2008-09-16T10:11:00.000-07:00

Ever drive an hour to do laundry? We did. Many areas around Houston are still without power, and we ended up in Katy, TX at a beat-up old "washateria" nestled right in the middle of an obviously Hispanic neighborhood. We must have scared the locals because they all cleared out when we walked in. We did our laundry while making minimal contact with anything in the filthy building, then headed to Denny's for dinner. Apparently all Denny's are alike because a few in our group got sick. "I'll have the Super Slam with a side of salmonella please!" I got a shower this morning before breakfast, so I feel somewhat human now. And so we wait. At least we have power in this area now.

A Day Late And A Dollar Short...

2008-09-15T14:15:00.000-07:00

The EMS Gods that be left us alone last night after we got back to Houston. Food was finally brought in and there was enough water pressure to actually flush the toilets. We ate, then collapsed into bed...well...OK...gurneys and cots. We got to sleep all night, thankfully. Today we are in Conroe, TX taking patients out of the hospital. Then back to Houston. Joy.

Change of plans...our patient adamantly refused to go to SAT, and left the hospital to go home. We are going to go do laundry. Lets see...dirty patients...dirty laundry...great choices.

Ever Hear Of Kerrville? Me Neither...

2008-09-14T08:08:00.000-07:00

Guess what time we bagged our first mission? Yup..1am. We were sent to evacuate a con home in Texas City...not too far from Galveston. It was running on a failing generator, and 39 patients needed moving. We took 2 and started our 300 mile drive. We were followed most of the way by this awesome thunderstorm, brilliant flashes of lightning backlighting the clouds in an eerie glow. It rained a ton too...of course. We almost hit this dumbass who fell asleep in the fast lane while waiting in stopped traffic at a bus fire. Some lady trooper ran across the freeway and screamed at him in a not so ladylike manner. Its now 7.45am and I need food and sleep. Desperately. I still hate Texas.

Ike Does Not Like Islands

2008-09-13T21:00:00.000-07:00

We started the day off at 6am in San Antonio. We were told to be up and ready to run at 6. In reality we finally left SA at noon. We have been sent to Houston to stage to support the rescue effort here. Some areas of downtown are flooded, trees and power lines are down and power is out, and there is a lot of damage. Pretty sobering to see firsthand. At least its not raining now. Galveston is basically under at least 3 feet of water. Completely. Beaumont got hit hard too...we left there just in time. I dont know how long I will be here in Houston. We will see....

Here We Go...

2008-09-12T08:08:00.000-07:00

We arrived back in San Antonio last night around 10pm. We were told we would be sent out starting @ 6am today. The hurricane has been pounding the Galveston area all night. Officials expect 6 million people to be without power, and say about 40,000 people did not evacuate. Those folks were told to write their social security numbers on their arms so their bodies could be identified. We are waiting to find out where we are going. It is going to be a long week.

The Calm Before The Storm

2008-09-11T11:11:00.000-07:00

We spent the night at an old hospital in Kountze, Texas. Our plans changed yet again and we got sent back to Beaumont. We snagged a mission to transport a couple of patients to Livingston, TX. After we finished, we came back to sleep since more patients need to be moved. We will finish those and clear to San Antonio to wait out the storm. One of our guys got to leave for home yesterday...the lucky bastard. I am being eaten alive by mosquitos. They must love the taste of dirty California paramedic. Tastes like chicken...

On The Road Again...

2008-09-11T05:22:00.000-07:00

We were demobilized last night, well, early this morning, from Alexandria. We were told yesterday we would be staying here for two more days. There was a *change of plans* yet again, and we were woken up at 1am to go through the demobilization process. After being released from Louisiana we are headed for San Antonio again...a nine hour drive. We will be doing evacuations along the coast, I guess. Then we wait out the storm. It might be a while before I update again...I'll let you know...

Peace.

It's 4am...Where The Hell Am I?

2008-09-10T06:15:00.000-07:00

I am sitting in the parking lot of this small hospital in Sunset, LA. Earlier I was awakened from a very nice sleep and told we were packing up and moving out. Apparently our team leader got into it with another non-AMR guy who thought he was the grand poohbah. This yahoo was withholding info and dumping calls on everyone else but his crews. He was quickly set straight. We started for Alexandria, but one of our crews on a call couldnt drop their patient because he had no power and the house had flooded. He complained of shortness of breath, so he was taken to the ED. So now we are back in Alexandria. Why? Who knows. I am going back to bed.

Louisiana Food Is Pretty Good...

2008-09-09T21:23:00.000-07:00

Nothing much happened today. We went to the Olde Tyme Grocery and had the world famous poor boy sandwich. A simple sandwich...meat, lettuce, tomatoes and mayo, but it just tasted different for some reason. The sandwich was huge! The store is right in the middle of Ragin' Cajun college country, and here I was wearing my LSU shorts. Oh well...
After lunch we went to get the flat tire fixed. Such fun. For dinner we ate at The Blue Dog restaurant. Wonderful food! Now that we are sufficiently stuffed, it is time for bed. Still no ETA for coming home...rumor had it we might be sent to Texas again, or demobilized and sent home. All depends on Ike. We'll see...
A couple of our units ran missions tonight...they sat and did nothing while we worked last night.

cya...

Killing Time In Louisiana

2008-09-09T10:11:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was quite an active day, the first day in a while we weren't bored out of our skulls. We started off the day by showering, doing some laundry, and then we headed across the street to a diner straight out of the 50's. I felt like I was in an episode of Happy Days, and half expected Potsie to come walking in. They have a large statue of a pelican by the door dressed as Elvis, and they call him Pelvis.

Cute.

After we ate, our strike team leader let us go out for a couple hours on our own to get stuff. We went to a huge sporting goods store to get some more shorts and other stuff. After we got back, we learned we were going on a field trip to catch a movie. We went to see 'Traitor' and when the manager learned we were from California on a FEMA trip, she treated us to the movie. We almost finished the movie, but we got called back because we had some missions.
We reported to the headquarters of Acadian Ambulance in Lafayette for our assignments. We were to take a couple of patients from a facility in Baton Rouge to their home facility in Kenner, Louisiana, about a 140 mile trip total. On the way to Baton Rouge, we got caught in a hell of a thunderstorm. Oh, and about that time we got a flat tire. Someone must have spilled crap on the causeway, because dozens of cars also got flats. Changing a tire in the middle of bayou country, with thousands of mosquitos trying to help certainly sucked. We got the tire changed, and were on our way. The transport was uneventful, and we cleared Kenner at about 10:30. There was another crew close by, so we drove about 12 miles into New Orleans and had dinner. We ate at this killer burger place called Yo Mama's Grill. Best burger I've had in a long time. We walked around Bourbon Street, bought some goodies to bring home, then headed over to the Cafe DuMonde for some beignets and coffee. My partner bought some to bring back for the crews that didn't get to enjoy 'Nawlins' with us. We got back to Lafayette at around 3:30am. Best day of the trip so far. I slept pretty well until these two backwoods country redneck yahoos started making noise again at 7am. Argh...

Lafayette ain’t much better than Alexandria...

2008-09-07T23:29:00.000-07:00

We were relocated to Lafayette, Louisiana tonight, around 60 miles south of Alexandria. Our accomodations are a performing arts center that has been turned into a medical clinic for special needs patients. They have long since been evacuated, so the remaining staff is sitting around doing nothing. Like we did. But we do have cots, showers and laundry facilities, and televisions so we can see what is going on in the world. Now we sit and wait to see what Hurricane Ike will do. Please head to Mexico so we can all go home. I am exhausted, so I am going to bed.

Into Double Digits...

2008-09-07T13:45:00.000-07:00

Well, I made it to double digits on this magical mystery tour of the South. As usual there is nothing going on today. I am waiting for my laundry to be done, and just finished a yummy wrap for lunch. At the briefing meeting today, we learned we might be here until September 26th at the latest. They are waiting to see what path Ike takes. Until the direction is clearer, plans can't really be made. We also were told no more sleeping in the rigs. Apparently in San Antonio a female EMS worker was sexually assaulted while she slept in her rig. A member of her team was arrested. Nice. Once the hurricane's path is clearer, I'll have more to report. I just need to think of all the money I'm making right now, and not the fact I miss my family like crazy.

Just A Steamy Louisiana Saturday Night...

2008-09-06T20:48:00.000-07:00

It's now Saturday night, and I found a wireless signal in the parking lot of the Ag Center where we are staged at LSU. I just grabbed a shower, and dropped off my laundry to be washed. Pity the poor person who opens that bag. Having the wireless makes it nice in that I don' t have to blog from my cell phone. We heard the FEMA contract is up at 9.30 tomorrow night, and it hasn't been renewed yet because they want to wait and see what Ike does. If this means we come home soon? Dunno. I take it day by day. Thanks to you readers who have sent comments of support. They mean a lot to me. I'll let you know what happened. For now, it means another night on the bench seat...heh heh.

Saturday In The Bayou...

2008-09-06T08:30:00.000-07:00

Saturday morning, sun is peeking out of the clouds. Didnt sleep well last night. Getting tired of sleeping on the bench seat, although its great on my back. Tons of food available for breakfast. Some ambulances have been sent home, and there is a meeting @ 10am today. No one has done any missions...there are none. We all passed inspection, so we can practice as paramedics in Louisiana if needed. Joy. I would just be happy to get away from all the chain-smoking yokel volunteers around here. Smokin' & spittin'...thats all they do. So I guess today will be more of the same...waiting. Woohoo.

And now a blast from the past..1985...

2008-09-05T18:27:00.000-07:00

So we have been without an ECG monitor since we arrived, as well as narcs. One of our guys from Santa Cruz talked to a logistics person, and we were allowed to cannibalize a pile of old monitors. We were able to get 5 old Lifepack 5s up and running! All we need now is an APCOR radio and we are good to go. I had to give an in-service since I was the only person who had ever used one before. Oh, and someone saw an alligator in the pond out front. Guess that kills any thoughts of swimming. And no...we have not done anything today.

Right Back Where We Started From...

2008-09-05T11:45:00.000-07:00

Its almost noon on Friday, we are back in Alexandria, Louisiana. We arrived at about 5am this morning after more than 5 hours on the road. We finally got to touch a patient after a week of waiting. We took a bariatric lady from this really nice con home in San Antonio 308 miles to Vidor, TX. And what are we greeted with after a week of waiting? A huge belch as we enter her room. Perfect. But she was nice enough, the ride was fine. After we drop her off @ her podunk little apartment, we find out we are being redeployed to Tyler, TX. Another 5 hour drive. We stopped @ Target and bought some sorely needed supplies. We had some real TX bbq @ Fat Mac's BBQ. We then started for Tyler. We stopped at a truck stop and paid $9 for a much needed shower. About 100 miles into the trip we learn there is a _change in plans_. We are to return to Louisiana. Great. An additional 4 hours of driving. All told I think I drove about 700 miles yesterday. So now we are right back where we started. Looks like rain...perfect.

A Whole Lot Of Nothing...

2008-09-03T21:07:00.000-07:00

A little after 9pm and we have done nothing at all. We were supposed to do a mission, but after we went to get fuel, we were told we were off it because we left- even though the task force we are on was still in the same line they had been in for 4 hours. Our strike team leader blew a gasket. After some more words, we were back on the job. Then the mission was cancelled. So here we sit. Supposedly there are 100 missions tomorrow. At least we will get the hell outta Texas. Still no eta to coming home. No bbq for dinner though; we had Subway, and the mess hall served spaghetti. No beans!

If this is Wednesday, I must STILL be in Texas...

2008-09-03T08:35:00.000-07:00

8.30am Wednesday, just had yet another breakfast of tacos and beans. But I feel slightly more human after a shower. There are 40 foot trailers equipped with shower stalls lining the walls. Water was warm and strong, and after 2 days of your clothes pasted to your body, a hose and a bar of soap would have been fine. There is a possibility we may have a mission today. Otherwise we sit and swelter in the sun, while the Louisiana strike teams are getting pounded. Still no ETA to coming home. There was a rumor last night FEMA was looking for volunteers to stay 2 additional weeks. No freaking way. We estimated FEMA is spending at least $300,000 a day in EMS salary alone just for this site, not including food or supplies. Wow...

Tuesday Night Update

2008-09-02T20:35:00.000-07:00

It..s 8.30pm and it is finally cooling a bit. We had yet another bbq dinner tonight. Some teams have been deployed, but here we sit. Some entrepreneurial dude was selling t-shirts about the disaster for $20. And he sold out! Pretty sad making a buck on a disaster. Still don..t know if and when we might go anywhere...I have used more diesel running the damn A/C than driving anywhere. But we did get Klondike bars today...yum!

A Quick Thought

2008-09-02T14:15:00.000-07:00

Kinda funny to be 1700 miles from home and I just saw my old unit physical 00-433 roll by. Probably the only saving grace of being in this oven-like hellhole is we have a brand new '08 rig with A/C that works well. Especially since with the humidity the heat index is 118 degrees. Did I mention I hate Texas?

Tuesday In Texas

2008-09-02T11:13:00.000-07:00

Well I lied about the farting cots drowning out the snoring. Didn't sleep much, and they awoke us at 7am for a lovely breakfast of BBQ brisket tacos. Tacos for breakfast? I guess when in Texas, do as they do. Dunno what we're doing today. If the past few days are a predictor, we will probably drive aimlessly around the damn Gulf. Still don't know when I am coming home.

Back To School...

2008-09-01T00:23:00.000-07:00

Back to school...

It is after midnight now, and we are bunked down in an abandoned elementary school in San Antonio. The cots we are sleeping on make these *wonderful* farting noises when you turn over. They ran out of food, and we may be sent back to Louisiana later. Just lovely. This still sucks. At least the farting cots drown out the snoring.

Gotta Love The Federal Government...

2008-09-01T00:13:00.000-07:00

It is almost 9pm and we are now in San Antonio. We evacuated Beaumont and drove 250 miles Code 3 to get here. Another first in my career; my longest Code 3 drive! The poor folks in Louisiana are working their asses off and we are driving all over the freaking South. We have not touched a patient yet. This sucks.

A Diary Of A Hurricane Response

2008-08-31T22:27:00.000-07:00

It is early Monday morning @ around 7 am in Beaumont, Texas. The sun is coming up, and it is already hot and humid. We are staging in the parking lot of the Ford Arena, our home for the last 3 days. The storm Gustav is a few hours away. We are awaiting evacuation orders...possibly to Houston or San Antonio. We have been in 8 different states beginning last Thursday. We left from San Francisco, missed a connection and spent the night on the floor of the airport in Las Vegas, flew to Dallas, then on to Atlanta. From there we drove 600 miles in a caravan of ambulances through Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi and into Louisiana. After being told there were no ambulances for us there, we were then bused almost 300 miles to Beaumont, Texas where we now sit. Our strike team is a great group of folks from ALCO, COCO, Santa Clara, and Santa Cruz counties, and we all get along well. We sleep in the rig or on cots in the arena, and the Red Cross is doing a great job keeping us fed. The crappy part is all of the waiting. At least I discovered I can blog here from my cell phone. Pretty cool. More later..

And So Goes The New Year...

2008-01-18T21:39:00.001-08:00

Happy 2008! Seems we were just celebrating the millenium (or something close to it), and it's already eight years later. Ah well, can't stop time. Things are going very well. Kids are back in school after a lucrative Christmas break. I played in a Fire/Police hockey tournament sponsored by the San Jose Sharks, and we got to play with some of the Sharks alumni players. That was a blash, and I can officially say I have been scored upon by an (ex) NHL player. Jeff Norton, Jamie Baker and Dave Mailey were a few of the ex-Sharks who joined our teams, and what a classy bunch of guys. We got to play at HP Pavilion for a game, and I got to meet a few Toronto Maple Leaf players then too...all in all a great hockey weekend.

Other than that, nothing major to report. Work has been busy, and we're getting over the sudden, untimely death of Michael O'Rourke. A good life taken WAY too early. Rest in peace Michael.

Until later--

-cya

Back to school!

2007-08-28T13:21:00.001-07:00

School starts again!

It's been an eventful couple of days. Madeline and Ethan went to the dentist for the first time yesterday, and as luck would have it Ethan had five (!!!) cavities, and needed one of his molars removed. Madeline fared better; she had no cavities, but we spent the morning trying to get one of her many doctors to call in a prescription for prophylactic antibiotics. Since she has a heart condition, she needs to take antibiotics as a precaution before any dental visit, so she doesn't get bacterial endocarditis. We finally got the meds an hour before her appointment, so it all worked out well.

Today the kids started school, and Madeline loved her first day as a Kindergartner. Ethan was less thrilled as a second grader, but he had fun too. The best part of all this is I HAVE MY MORNINGS FREE AGAIN! :)

Think I'm happy about that?

C-ya!

No, I didn't forget about this place...

2007-08-17T21:19:00.000-07:00

Ah...it's mid August and I'm finally posting an update. The weight loss: 51 pounds. I'm back in pants I haven't worn in 3 years. We had a nice vacation at Bass Lake last week, in spite of my bitchy sister-in-law. I won't get into all the gory details, but suffice it to say we're vacationing on separate weeks next summer. Back at work, I have a new candidate/probie to do all the work...seems he'll do OK. Kids are excited to be starting school in a couple of weeks, and we're in the midst of all the back to school buying.

Will post more later (in a year or so ;) )

May update

2007-05-04T21:22:00.000-07:00

It's May already? Man, it seems like I was just watching the ball drop in Times Square for 2007. Anyways, the weight loss continues. Down 39 pounds so far, and into my "less fat" uniform pants. I started playing hockey again, and that has been a challenge. I don't know if I have a slipped disc or some type of nerve damage, but my left foot has been numb, and skating has been quite an experience. I'm working on getting back to form on the ice, and we'll see what happens. Weather has been weird; some rain, then some sun. Can't wait for the warm boating weather to get back so we can...well, you know....boat! I'll let you know when we get back out on the water.

Thanks for reading!

Been a while...yeah...still here...

2007-02-08T22:53:00.000-08:00

Ah, guess I forgot about this thing, and it's been a while since the last post. Not to bore you with lots of minute stuff, so...here goes.

First off, I'm back to working on losing weight again. I went to take my DMV physical for my ambulance driver's license, and in addition to gaining more than I expected, the doctor used the 'pre-diabetic' statement. So, knowing how nasty a disease diabetes is and vowing I'll never get it, I got serious about eating right and exercising again. I've been walking 2 miles a few times a week, in addition to using the exercise bike and elliptical trainer I bought. That, plus eating sensibly, avoiding fatty fast food and cutting back on the late night desserts and (most importantly) cutting back on the beer consumption. Since the first of the year, I'm down 26 pounds. I still have a long way to go, but this is a good start. Sucks that I couldn't keep the 105 pounds off that I lost 10 years ago. Should have listened to everyone who tried to tell me you can't go back to eating the way you did before the weight loss.

I get it now.

Happy Thanksgiving to all

2006-11-23T23:07:00.000-08:00

Had a nice T-day dinner with the folks and my Grandmother. She was in the hospital yesterday...is anemic and has a bladder infection. She was releasd today and is heading up to stay with my folks for a few days. I cooked the meal, we all gorged...it was nice.

Work has been OK. Not too busy...seems like we're in our 'Winter Slowdown'. Call volume drops off, but the patients are sicker. Well, all except the two that we picked up from the BART station last night. Both homeless, one just released from jail and the other without a ride to San Francisco. So, when one sees the other asking a BART PD officer for an ambulance because she has a headache, the other decides she has a headache and wants to go to the ER as well. It would be SO much easier if people like that just straight up said what they wanted, rather than bullshit everyone with their half-assed stories. Total waste of time. And, while I'm on the rant-path, might as well give time to all the idiot drivers out there. Look people, when you hear or see an emergency vehicle approaching, you PULL SAFELY AS FAR RIGHT AS POSSIBLE AND STOP!! You don't:

a) Ignore said vehicle and continue on your merry old clueless way,
b) Pull to the LEFT and stop,
c) Move one lane to the right and continue at your same speed,
d) Speed up and race us,
e) Flip the emergency vehicle off because you can't be bothered to do what the LAW SAYS,
f) Any or all of the above.

Nine times out of ten when we pass one of the aforementioned drivers, they are chatting merrily on their cell phones, oblivious to anyone else on the road. I think a great law enforcement technique would be to outfit all emergency vehicles with paintball guns. Someone does something stupid, said driver's car gets shot with a paintball. Police officer sees said car, pulls it over and gives the driver a ticket for being an idiot. Any car with three or more hits goes to jail. Ah....if only.

Until later...

Bet I forgot about this thing, huh?

2006-10-30T22:57:00.000-08:00

Ah, man...been so long since I updated this thing. Been busy with life stuff since the last update. The weight loss thing slowed way down. I'm still trying, just not obsessive about it. We bought a boat, so a lot of free time was spent on the water. Work has been OK...too many drunk people not being able to care for themselves. Job security...stupid people and alcohol. I'm sure we'll get even busier as the holiday season approaches and the losers who are alone become despondent over the face thay ARE alone. Other than that...not a hell of a lot going on. Status quo.

That's a good thing, I guess.

Until next time....

Hoopy

Oh...one more thing...

2006-01-18T17:18:00.000-08:00

Forgot to post something funny that happened last shift at work. Got a call for an auto accident on the freeway. Guy and his wife rear-ended by another car at a freeway junction notorious for accidents. Guy is an off-duty cop, and wife is 8 months pregnant. She's not hurt bad, and he's fine too. Guy tells me "Yeah, this yutz plows into us, and he comes up to me after and says 'I'm scared...I don't have insurance and I've been drinking'". Man...how stupid...two things you never want to say to a cop. CHP provided a nice set of bracelets to go along with transportation and accomodations.

Alcohol and stupidity...2 job security items for paramedics.

Finally...an update

2006-01-18T17:00:00.000-08:00

Sorry...it's been a while since I updated this. Still a newbie in the blogging world. I finally decided to get back on the weight loss wagon. I was normal sized all through high school and college, but a stint as a manager of a Winchell's Donut House and years of eating fast food in between calls at work helped swell my svelte, so to speak. I got serious about losing weight back in 1995, and in a year was able to lose 105 pounds. I made the fatal mistake by believing I could go back to eating the junk thet got me fat in the first place. Bad move. Weight came back, and then some. Same old story...to oodles of people. I hate to say it's been a New Year's resolution, but since I started right before New Years....well...you do the math. I've been putting miles on the elliptical at home, and watching my food intake not coming from a fast food drive up window. Loss to date: 14 pounds and 1 belt notch. Left to go as a goal weight?: well...let's just say I'm 10% of the way there.

Next goal as a loss number: 20 pounds total. I'll keep ya posted.

Thoughts and Stuff...

2005-09-09T20:28:00.000-07:00

I know, it's been a while...

Thinking a lot about the hurricane and all that's happened since it hit. What got me was all the people on TV right after the storm passed demanding relief and help within hours of the event. HELLO! ?!? You were told to evacuate, and I certainly realize that some people who stayed had no access to a car or transportation. But what are we told in ALL the disaster preparation announcements and classes? DON'T EXPECT HELP FOR AT LEAST 48-72 HOURS! Store enough supplies to last at least that long until help can be mobilized and to arrive. Looters? I have two thoughts on that. I can see taking food and items necessary for survival. Food spoils, and better to be used than wasted. Diapers, medicines, other staples....yeah. I can see that. It's the same as being lost in the woods and finding a cabin, breaking in and using the stuff there as the only means of surviving. That's allegedly not illegal either. Hell, some stores opened up and told people to take what they need. But the idiot criminals who were leaving with cartsfull of plasma TVs and other ELECTRICAL powered items...uh, hey dumbasses...where are ya gonna plug 'em in? Those people should have been shot on sight. And why shoot at rescue helicopters? Can someone explain that to me?

Anyways, I did my part and made a cash contribution to the Red Cross. Did you?

Until later...

Sunday night ramblings...

2005-08-14T22:23:00.000-07:00

So, my back still aches a bit. Makes it hard to really get around and do stuff. Heading off Tuesday for Bass Lake with the in-law family. Not really the best spending of PTO time, but oh well. Thankfully there's a town not too far away and the grocery stores there sell beer. My brother-in-law from Missouri will be here too. He's a cop back there, and has the same skewed sense of humor I do. We get along great. So...I'll write more when I get back.

Wish me luck.

Wait...I think I'll stick around a bit.

So, you know that woman from Vacaville who's son was killed over in Iraq. She goes to Crawford, Texas to try and meet with President DumbAss and talk with him about the war and stuff. DipShitDubya doesn't even have the rocks to stop and meet with her. All these brave Americans who've died for our country over there. I think DumbAss's daughters should be drafted to the Middle East. Let's just see how fast the troop withdrawals would begin after that, huh?

There was an Air Force Master Sgt. from Vallejo who was killed over there on 02/10/2004. His name was Jude C. Mariano. Left a beautiful wife and wonderful little kids. I bought a memorial bracelet from herobracelets.org to honor and carry on his name. I think everyone should honor a war victim in this manner too. Too many names to just let them drift off...go get one. It's only a few dollars to honor someone who gave his or her life for us.

Would you do the same for them?

So this is a blog, eh?

2005-08-12T11:42:00.000-07:00

So this is what a blog feels like, huh? Hmmm....kinda tight in the rear, but...it's OK. Not much to say initially, but I'm sure as the beer flows and life smashes ya down, words will pour like rain. Check back later if you want.

Or don't.

Doesn't matter to me.